Tag Archives: relationships

Love in Friendship: Growing Through Disagreements

Uncategorized, , , ,

Friendship? … It’s like family, minus the shared DNA but with all the drama. We don’t get to choose our families, but we do choose our friends. And yet, just like siblings, real friendships don’t exist without seeing the good, the bad, and sometimes even the worst in each other.

When it’s Wednesday, it’s another night of bonding with my church community and tonight we had an open discussion on how we can improve our service. One of the strongest points that came up wasn’t about doing more, it was about strengthening our relationships first. We realized that when genuine friendships are built, even criticisms become easier to accept because they come from a place of trust and love.

When it’s Wednesday we EAT. PRAY. LAUGH.

Disagreements are inevitable. It’s not a question of if they will happen, but WHEN. The real test of any relationship whether in ministry, family, or friendship is not in avoiding conflicts but in how we walk through them. Growth happens when bonds are tested by fire, and what remains is something stronger, refined, and more resilient.

I know this firsthand because of two people – Dina and Jane. They are my constants, my battle-tested friendships, the ones who have walked with me through life’s fire and emerged stronger with me on the other side.

Friendships That Endure Fire

Dina and I? We don’t always see eye to eye. In fact, we’ve had our fair share of disagreements, even full-on fights over different perspectives. But no matter how intense our discussions get, there’s one unshakable truth … we are there for each other. At 2 AM, when life feels heavy, I know she’s just one call away, and she knows the same about me.

Then there’s Jane. At one point in our lives, she just stopped talking to me. No explanation, no warning, just silence. And at that moment, I felt it was so unfair. I wanted to reproach “ I don’t deserve to be shut out like this!” But instead of demanding answers, I chose to stay quiet and let time pass.

One day, out of the blue, we started talking again. We both happened to be INFJs, and in a completely unplanned way, we found ourselves opening up about what had happened. No accusations, no bitterness, just understanding. And just like that, the friendship that had gone silent found its voice again. Through thick and thin, we have each other. She is my mirror when I have a blind spot, and I am the same for her.

There’s this common belief that strong friendships are always easy. But the truth? Love in friendship grows because of disagreements, not despite them.

Friction That Strengthens, Not Weakens

Think about the closest friendships you have. Chances are, you’ve had moments of frustration – disagreements over plans, differing opinions, even hurtful words said in the heat of emotion. Maybe there were days of awkward silence, moments when you wondered, Are we too different? But what makes a friendship real is not the absence of conflict but it’s the willingness to push through it.

Like siblings who argue over the silliest and the deepest things, we don’t always see eye to eye with our friends. And yet, those same tensions can refine the bond, shaping it into something stronger. A disagreement isn’t a sign of a failing friendship; it’s a test of how deep the love runs.

Honest Disagreements Mean Honest Love

When two people care enough to disagree, it means they care enough to be honest. It’s easy to walk away when things get uncomfortable, but REAL FRIENDS DON’T. They argue, they rant, they fight. However, they fight for the relationship, not against each other.

Love in friendship isn’t just about the fun times. It’s about seeing each other’s flaws, knowing each other’s weaknesses, and choosing to stay anyway. It’s about admitting when we’re wrong, forgiving when we’re hurt, and learning how to love better through every misunderstanding. It’s agreeing to disagree and disagreeing agreeably.

Friendships That Grow, Not Just Survive

The strongest friendships aren’t the ones that never face storms; they’re the ones that come out stronger because of them.

So the next time you have a disagreement with a friend, pause before assuming it’s a wedge between you. Maybe it’s just a growing pain, another chapter in a story of friendship that is built to last.

We choose the friends we make along the way, we choose to love, and we choose to love in spite of and despite everything. In the end, real friendship isn’t about agreeing all the time. It’s about choosing love again and again and again, even when it’s tested

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” — Proverbs 17:17

FearFighter: Crashing Fear with Strikes of Service

Uncategorized, , , , , , , , ,

What if the key to shattering your deepest fear lies in wielding the powerful weapon of compassion towards others?

When it’s Wednesday, me and a couple of friends regularly gather to have a time of exchanging of stories, prayer and feasting. After indulging in a feast of seafood delicacies like spicy raw marinated crab, garlic buttered prawns, sour fish head soup and many others, we opened our discussion with an activity to draw our biggest fears and our greatest loves.

Among the drawings, one interesting picture was that of a pre-school teacher whose greatest joy is being with her students, yet she fears that one day they might forget her.  Another friend revealed her fear of illness and her deep love for her family and physical activity, illustrated with sketches of barbells. One drew a snake, highlighting her paradoxical fear of snakes against her profound love for nature, trees and the moon. From the rest, despite the diverse fears shared—ranging from being bedridden and death to public speaking, sleeplessness and heights—majority in our group expressed a profound and common love for family.  While some expressed fear of losing their voice and feeling lost among many people, their great loves revealed a different side: one cherishes mangoes and avocados, while the other finds joy in music. As for me, I shared my biggest fear of failing and my deep love for inspiring and mentoring others.

Reflecting on these personal fears and loves, it’s clear that such fears can often paralyze us and hold us back from reaching our greatest potential. Yet, there’s an intriguing irony: many of our fears are closely tied to what we cherish most, as illustrated in our drawings. This connection reveals how our deepest anxieties and passions are intricately linked.

I remember whenever we would go to Lucky Plaza to connect with our fellow Filipinos, I often feel uneasy initiating a conversation with strangers, fearing rejection or that we won’t jive. Despite this discomfort, I would still end up pushing myself to engage because I know many of our kababayans need someone to talk to. My friends and I just wish to share our blessings even in small ways, like offering a bucket of Jollibee chicken joy to bring a smile to their faces.

Despite how overwhelming our fears may seem, there’s a powerful truth: what we love and are passionate about often have the strength to overshadow and overcome them. As illustrated in our drawings, what we hold dear can provide the courage and motivation to rise above our deepest anxieties, showing that our greatest loves have the power to outshine even our biggest fears.

This realization resonates strongly with 2 Timothy 1:7: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”  Despite our fears, it is the strength of our love and passions that compels us to rise above them. This verse underscores that our divine gifts of love and power enable us to conquer our anxieties, demonstrating that what we cherish most can indeed outshine and overcome our greatest fears.

As we embrace the power of love and divine gifts to overcome our fears, we find reinforcement in 1 John 4:18:  “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” By integrating this truth into our lives, we can further strengthen our resolve by utilizing acts of service as our weapon. In the daily arena of life, we strike fear with three powerful aspects of service rooted in love—empathy and connection, generosity and sacrifice, and encouragement and uplifting. These three strikes effectively knock out our fears, transforming our own anxieties and making a meaningful impact on those around us, embodying the perfect love that drives out fear.

Here Are 3 Strikes to Knock Out Our Fears!

Strike 1!  Empathy and Connection: Deepening Relationships.
Fear often arises from an inward focus—our insecurities, inadequacies, and uncertainties can dominate our thoughts. However, when we engage in acts of service rooted in empathy and connection, we step out of our comfort zones and begin to diminish the power of these fears. Empathy involves genuinely understanding and addressing the needs of others, which shifts our focus from our own worries to the well-being of those around us.

By reaching out and showing authentic care and concern, we strengthen our relationships and foster a sense of community and support. This active engagement in understanding others helps us move beyond our personal fears and anxieties. The act of connecting deeply with others not only builds meaningful relationships but also reveals that our fears lose their grip when we invest in the lives of those around us. In essence, empathy and connection become powerful tools that help us transcend our own insecurities and create a supportive network that benefits everyone involved.

Strike 2! Generosity and Sacrifice: Sharing Resources and Time.
Once we have deepened our relationships through empathy, the next step is to put those connections into action by sharing our time, resources, and energy selflessly. Generosity involves prioritizing the needs of others over our own, which reinforces our sense of purpose and value. By offering even small blessings, whether it’s a meal, a kind word, or a helping hand, we extend our support and make a meaningful impact. This act of giving not only alleviates our fears but also transforms our anxieties into positive actions, demonstrating how service rooted in love can effectively overcome our personal challenges. Through helping others, we gain new perspectives and realize that we can make a difference despite our own challenges. Often, serving others brings a profound sense of fulfilment and purpose that helps override our fear.

Strike3! Encouragement and Uplifting: Empowering Others.
Fear often makes us feel like we are losing ourselves, as it shakes our sense of identity and control. Yet, as Mahatma Gandhi wisely said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”  By focusing on empowering and uplifting those around us, we shift our attention from our own fears to the greater good, finding renewed purpose and strength in the process. Encouragement and uplifting others focus on providing support and motivation. By helping others overcome their own fears and challenges, we build resilience and confidence in both the giver and receiver. This aspect of service highlights how love can inspire and uplift, ultimately diminishing our own fears.

In summary, each of these three strikes serves as a powerful weapon in our fight against fear. By starting with Empathy and Connection, we deepen our relationships and shift our focus from personal insecurities. Generosity and Sacrifice then build on this foundation, as sharing our time and resources reinforces our sense of purpose and transforms our anxieties into positive actions. Finally, Encouragement and Uplifting empower both ourselves and others, showing how love and support can diminish even our deepest fears. Together, these three strikes create a formidable knockout punch, demonstrating that through acts of service rooted in love, we can conquer our fears and make a lasting impact on the world around us. By embodying these principles, we not only overcome our own fears but also inspire others to rise above theirs, fulfilling the truth of 1 John 4:18: “Perfect love drives out fear.” Indeed, love stands as the ultimate weapon to strike out fear and transform us from being fearful to fearless.

Here’s a glimpse of the Wednesday folks, transforming our fears to love.